I think it's bees...not butterflies!

I have been having some panic episodes lately...not extreme but some of those "wake up thinking and contemplating what the heck I just got myself into" kind of episodes.  Even though I am a little afraid, I often hear God speak to me in ways that I didn't expect.  The other morning, I turned on the TV and my favorite lady, Joyce Meyer was in the middle of her sermon and she quoted my absolute favorite verse, "For God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of sound mind"  After that she just quoted all the verses that deal with fear and I quoted them with her.  Another way I heard God speak was through general posts I read on Facebook...a young lady quoted "Where you go, God will be with you there" and "God has an excellent plan and you have to "be still and quiet" to hear it".  I know I have lots of humor in my conversations and sometimes a few "choice" words slip out a time or two but I have always remained spiritual and cognizant of my Southern religious roots and right now, I am hanging onto them dearly.  Now don't get me wrong, I am very, and continue to be, excited about my upcoming venture, but I am seeing the "realness" of it everyday.  To those who are reading this blog, if you are facing a decision that might impact your life, career, relationships etc., I hope that my words can show you that you are not the first nor the last to face this challenge.  It has been hard and as "doors begin to close", I have found that it's more of a bittersweet feeling than exhiliration.  I think the hardest decisions can be the ones we choose ourselves.  They are the ones where you are in a "safe and predictable" place in life but you choose expand yourself because you know it's right.  Believe that God doesn't let anything happen that you will not be able to handle.  He never promised it would be easy, fun, or any of those things but he promises strength and His grace to follow along our journeys.  Maybe I am not writing this to inspire anyone else right now but to inspire me.  I need to hear God more than ever these days!  Please continue to keep me, my family, and my friends in your thoughts and prayers.

The countdown begins...6 weeks until August!

Favorite colors

Soooo yesterday I told my homeroom about leaving for Abu Dhabi and today, I decided to tell my first block students.  As expected, some of the homeroom kids in my first block blabbed the secret but that made first block students want to know even more.  After I showed the powerpoint, one of my "too grown" girls came up to me and asked me what my favorite colors were.  I was busily and frantically looking for some documents at the table.  In true Ms. Dula form I replied, "Get on away from here...I tell you about that later.  I can't do everything all at the same time".  For those that may not know my style, you may think that is harsh, but my students have learned my codes very well.  She knew I didn't mean anything by it so she smiled and got ready to go back to homeroom.  As she walked away, she said, "I'm gonna find out your favorite colors, Ms. Dula". 

Fast forward to the afternoon.  After a day of, "Be quiet", "I'm gonna write some names down", and "Put your heads down because my patience is gone", I happened to be looking at my desk.  On it, amongst documents and to be graded work, I found an oddly shaped, hand made envelope addressed to me.  Now, you see, this is not the first letter I have received like this, and most of the time, it is proclaiming some child's innocence after I had falsely accused them of something or a mushy "You're the best teacher in the whole wide world" note..hmmmph.  So...I open it up, expecting the usual, except this time it wasn't.  In fact, it was one of the sweetest notes I have ever received.  I must say that I cringed a little at the capitalization and punctuation (writing teachers do it the best :), but I felt happy and very loved.  My favorite line was "Do what your heart tells you to do".  I couldn't have said it better.  SN:  She wrote at the end that she already "knew" what my favorite colors were.

Baggage and Osama

Today was field day at my school and, of course, I can't help to think that it will be my last one in America (for a while), let alone my school.  Today was also the day I decided to tell my students that I was leaving.  I decided to make a powerpoint (I know, I know, very teacher like of me) to explain where I was going. The children freaked out!  They were so excited and enthusiastic.  They asked questions and told me their thoughts and opinions on the matter.  However, it was one question that struck me the most and it came from the most unlikely of sources...T.  Now, everyone knows T and he has truly been my "special" throughout the year.  I have learned so much from him and he will always stay in my memory along with my other "specials".  Today, as I talked, T did his usual yelling out and overtalking everyone during MY presentation.  One of his "yell outs" asked the question, "So does your mom want you to go, Ms. Dula"  T was the only one who asked me that question and for a few moments, I was reminded why I have come to love this little, yet outrageous boy.  The question was so innocent and I felt that he was truly concerned about my mom's feelings.  He was thinking about my family.  For a strange reason, it actually made me sad and connected to him at the same time.  Now, of course, he then rants that I am going where "Osama's cousins live", but everything with T is short lived.  With all that being said, even in my excitement I have to remember that I am leaving some very important people behind.  That even though their presence is no longer in the physical, they are with me in spirit everywhere I go.  I have learned in the last few weeks, that there are a lot of people going with me on this journey.  I have never felt so loved by so many..I will need their thoughts, encouragement, love, and prayers from the day I step on the plane, to the first day of class, and, finally, to the day I come home.....my only conclusion is that I definitely am going to need a larger suitcase!

Where did all these books come from?

For the past few days, I have been busily packing up my classroom library and throwing away anything else.  I have also been sifting and giving away a lot of what I have accumulated over the last seven years of my school life.  I told a coworker today that I feel like I have taught 18 years!  I now have 3 full boxes and I am still contemplating going through them again.  As I was going through my books, I was looking at them and scratching my head..."I am so tired of seeing all these books".  Suddenly,I thought,  "Why don't you give some of these books to your students!".  I looked immediately to a little girl in my room whose smile has been bright all year.  She was recently exited as an ESL student and has told me repeatedly that her family could not afford to participate in certain activities because "my mom doesn't have any money".  Earlier this year, we did a writing assignment in which I asked the students what they would spend a newly acquired large amount of money.  The first thing that she wrote on her paper was, " I would give my mom rent and grocery money.  I would get some new clothes too for my family".  And through all of this...she still smiles and warms a room with her "Ms. Dula, you forgot to....."  And even at the time that she is telling me my missteps, I remember that she is only taking "care" of me because that is her nature.  What a beautiful lesson to learn from a child!  Soooo long story short, I started giving her books.  I didn't tell her why but I just told her she had to read them.  The student just took them and did what she was told.  My brain was telling me that what I was giving her was hand me downs but my heart was telling me that she will sit and read those books with herself and with her family....that not only she will enjoy them but they will be passed down to her siblings. Reading and books are so often taken advantaged of, but when we don't have the skills or the resources to read, they are sorely missed.  In short, I will take this experience with me as I watch my students in Abu Dhabi. 

Countdown to my last day at my school 8 days!

M.Ed...where's the notary?!

Yesterday, I graduated from Graduate school with my master's and I could think about is how fast I am going to get it authenticated.  I laugh to myself as think how my thoughts have changed since making this decision to go to Abu Dhabi.  Even though I celebrated happy occasions this week, I also said a goodbye to a dear coworker and friend.   Although I am happy that she is no longer suffering, I feel for her family and best friends.  Two of her best friends work along with me, and I have shared tears and many hugs with them.  One of my friends told me, "You can't go now!  What's going to happen to our team?  One of us just decided that she just didn't want to come back next year!"    :)    Although, I know my friends at school are excited for me to leave, but I know they are a little sad...and so am I.  I walk the halls and sometimes I get overwhelmed with feelings of sadness because I know I will not walk these halls in the same capacity again.  I will be a visitor and my classroom and position will be replaced.  The children that I spent so much of my energy on will move on and hopefully, will make decisions that will make positive changes in their lives.  Sometimes, I wish I could stay just to see them grow..but I know the decision I made is the best.

The cats out of the bag!!

I can't believe that I am actually beginning my first posting of my adventure to Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates!  So let's start at the beginning...

January 2012: (Sophia moment)  Picture it...January 2012..it's a cold night...my laptop sits in my lap with a recruiting page with an application to teach in Abu Dhabi.  I'm staring at it..wondering and kind of fearful.  All of a sudden, I hear my mouth utter, "Why not?"  All of a sudden my fingers began furiously typing and uploading my resume..finally, I press send. At the time, I didn't realize what I had just done but events were already beginning to play out and nothing would be the same again.

Fast forward to today...I survived the interviews and gathering paperwork.  I resigned from the only job I have really ever had and now I am just waiting....that's the hard part...waiting.  I am excited but nervous at the same time.  I plan to write and post pics throughout this process.  I will see you on the "flip side" yall!